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The Lancashire Liar

[ Roud V15520 ; VWML FK/17/212/2 ; Mudcat 3613 , 174049 ; trad.]

Harry & Lesley Boardman: Folk Songs & Ballads of Lancashire

Harry Boardman sang The Lancashire Liar to his own tune on the 1968 Topic anthology of songs and ballads of the industrial North-West, Deep Lancashire, but not on the album’s 1997 extended CD reissue. He noted:

This song has obvious connections with what might be termed the Derby Ram series and used to be sub-titled The Greatest Liar Outside of London. Paul Graney of Nelson, heard this song in a Tideswell, Derbyshire pub, in the nineteen-twenties and was reminded of it when he recently came across a Bebbington broadside in Manchester. The broadside contains some eighteen verses, all more or less equally fantastic. The tune is similar to the one remembered by Paul Graney.

Jack Rutter sang The Lancashire Liar on his 2019 album Gold of Scar & Shale. He noted:

I spotted the words for this in Harry & Lesley Boardman’s Folk Songs & Ballads of Lancashire and particularly liked the nonsense of it all, which they say is “perhaps a survival of an earlier magical song”. The melody I’ve set the words to has echoes of Herod and the Cock which I first heard on the Watersons’ classic album Frost and Fire lots of years ago, with the chorus having echoes of a similar song to The Lancashire Liar called When I Was a Little Boy from Martin Carthy’s ever inspiring singing and playing.

Lyrics

Harry Boardman sings The Lancashire Liar

In Manchester I saw a crow leave London in a crack, sir,
Flew as far as Saddleworth wi’ Ashton on its back, sir.

Chorus (after each verse):
Indeed, Sir, it’s true, sir, I’ve never been given to lie
And if you go to Lancashire you’ll see the same as I

I saw a goose from Staleybridge, that coal from Hyde had taken,
It stole a bag from Liverpool filled with Irish bacon.

In Warrington I saw a pig kill near two hundred people,
In Lancaster I saw a dog dance on Leeds church steeple.

In Huddersfield I met a bull selling Eccles cakes, sir,
In Marsden I met a dead horse going to Oldham wakes, sir.

In Delph I met a flock of sheep had been to rob a York church, sir,
They brought a hen from Tadcaster in a show to learn to work, sir.

At Hurst I saw a peck of birds take Leigh church and shake it,
And drive a horse through Dukinfield with eggs to Rochda’ market.

In Haslingden I saw a mouse wheel muck through Royton town, sir,
In Mossley I met a cat wearing a Knaresboro gown, sir.

In Bacup I saw a monkey in Burnley teaching school, sir,
In Blackburn it made Wangby cheese, in Colne it chased a fool, sir.

At Tyldesley Bank I saw a lamb at Stockport cry a sale, sir,
In Chowbent I saw a baboon in Wigan brewing ale, sir.

At Pendleton I met a dog driving sheep to Sutton,
At Middleton I saw a horse tried for stealing mutton.

At Failsworth I saw a turkey rob Preswich church all over
At Hull I saw a rabbit chase a hound at Dover

At Radcliff I saw a crow kill near three hundred witches,
At Bury I saw a tomcat at Bolton selling matches.

At Chorley I saw two bullocks in Preston selling oil, sir
At Bath I saw a pigeon take a giant to Carlisle, sir.

At Whitehaven I saw a fly eat a flitch of bacon,
And stick a pig at Cockermouth, in lies I’m not mistaken.

I once saw two dead guinea pigs try which of them was stronger,
I’ve really told so many lies that I can sing no longer.

Now to conclude and end my song with heart and true goodwill, sir,
If you want a bigger lie than this you can sing it for yourself, sir.