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The Irish Ballad (Rickety Tickety Tin)

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Tom Lehrer sang his own The Irish Ballad on his 1953 album Songs by Tom Lehrer. He noted:

The folk song has in recent years become the particular form of permissible idiocy of the intellectual fringe. Here, for these elite, is an ancient Irish ballad; it is complete with modal tune, simple story line, and inane refrain, but it differs from other ancient ballads in that it was written in 1950.

This video shows Tom Lehrer singing The Irish Ballad in Copenhagen in 1967:

Jon Boden learned the song as Rickety Tickety Tin at the Forest School Camps and sang it as the 17 September 2010 entry of his project A Folk Song a Day. He noted in the blog:

This is a great favourite around the campfire, particularly with the younger children for some reason.

Lyrics

Tom Lehrer sings The Irish Ballad

About a maid I’ll sing a song,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
About a maid I’ll sing a song
Who didn’t have her family long.
Not only did she do them wrong,
She did ev’ryone of them in,
Them in,
She did ev’ryone of them in.

One morning in a fit of pique,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
One morning in a fit of pique,
She drowned her father in the creek.
The water tasted bad for a week,
And we had to make do with gin,
With gin,
We had to make do with gin.

Her mother she could never stand,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
Her mother she cold never stand,
And so a cyanide soup she planned.
The mother died with a spoon in her hand,
And her face in a hideous grin,
A grin,
Her face in a hideous grin.

She set her sister’s hair on fire,
[Sing] rickety-tickety-tin,
She set her sister’s hair on fire,
And as the smoke and flame rose higher,
Danced around the funeral pyre,
Playin’ a violin,
-olin,
Playin’ a violin.

She weighted her brother down with stones,
[Sing] rickety-tickety-tin,
She weighted her brother down with stones,
And sent him off .to Davy Jones.
All they ever found were some bones,
And occasional pieces of skin
Of skin,
Occasional pieces of skin.

One day when she had nothing to do,
[Sing] rickety-tickety-tin,
One day when she had nothing to do,
She cut her baby brother in two
And served him up as an Irish stew,
And invited the neighbours in,
-bours in,
Invited the neighbours in.

And when at last the police came by,
[Sing] rickety-tickety-tin,
And when at last the police came by,
Her little pranks she did not deny.
To do so she would have had to lie,
And lying, she knew, was a sin,
A sin,
Lying, she knew, was a sin.

My tragic tale, I won’t prolong,
[Sing] rickety-tickety-tin,
My tragic tale I won’t prolong,
And if you do not enjoy my song,
You’ve yourselves to blame if it’s too long,
You should never have let me begin,
Begin,
You should never have let me begin.

Acknowledgements and Notes

These lyrics were copied from Tom Lehrer’s website at The Irish Ballad. On the album Songs by Tom Lehrer he sang the refrain ‘Rickety-tickety-tin’ in verses 4-8 without the ‘Sing’ verb.

The lyrics in the Digital Tradition have an additional penultimate verse. I do not know where it is from, and on which, if any, recording Lehrer sang it:

And just one thing before I go
Sing rickety tickety tin
And just one thing before I go
There’s something I think that you ought to know
They had no proof, so they let her go
And they say that she’s tall and thin,
And thin,
They say that she’s tall and thin.